You may have heard the recent news of Julian Blanc, a pick-up artist that put a video of one of his seminars online. It shows him bragging about how easy girls in Japan are and how white guys can do anything in Japan and the girls love it. Then in the video he shows himself pushing girls head’s down to his crotch, forcing girls into hugs, and literally “necking” with a store clerk.
He thinks because the girls are giggling and not slapping him instantly they “love it.” But it’s clear from even the short clips with the girls eyes blacked out, they are horrified. It’s pure sexual assault and these girls are too freaked out to know what to do. He also had some pictures on Twitter of putting girls in choke holds and bragging about choking women all over the world.
Luckily when this video became viral, women (and men) all over the world struck back. He was in Australia doing a seminar series and first was forced out of many venues as hotels didn’t want him to promote sexual abuse at their businesses. Then the Australian government ended up revoking is visa and kicking him out of the country. “This guy wasn’t putting forward political ideas, he was putting forward abuse that was derogatory to women and that’s just something, those are values abhorred in this country,” said the Australian immigration Minister. Kudos to them!
He’s supposed to go to Japan and Canada within the next few weeks, but people in both locations are trying to prevent it.
And that’s great, I think that it’s great people aren’t putting up with him and even governments are coming to the defense of women. But I think it’s all too sad that he is not the first foreign guy to do this. It’s well-known that if a foreign guy, especially a white guy, comes to China he will have his pick of girls. This fact is often the reason many guys come to China in the first place, and I’ve seen this way of thinking far too many times.
I don’t usually talk about foreign guys dating Chinese women because it’s a well trod road. An asian woman with a (usually older) western guy? Not a shocker. But it is something all western women in China need to deal with and something us ladies talk about.
If a western woman wants to date a western guy in China, they have stiff competition from all the asian women that also want to date western guys. And, in all honesty, it is the rare westerner that chooses a western woman over an asian. And women know it.
It’s kinda a joke. If a western couple comes to China together people joke about how they will soon break up, because the temptation of chinese girls is too much. Or, on message boards when women are talking about coming to China they are actually warned not to bring their boyfriend/husbands because he will probably cheat.
I know, it’s not giving guys much benefit of the doubt. But if you’ve been here as long as I have, you’ll see why it’s easy to get cynical abut this. The stereotype has proven true in a vast majority of cases. And if my friends meet a western guy in China and start dating? They constantly worry too. Even when a guy says he doesn’t care for Chinese girls, no one fully trusts him. And when a friends boyfriend goes out to a club or bar without her, my friends always worry. “Is he meeting a chinese girl?”
Because there is lots of temptation. Some girls might legitimately fall in love with the mans personality accidentally, but most of the time it is a deliberate thing. There are ton of “foreign men chasers” who look for a foreign guy to stick their talons in. To be married to a foreign man is seen as prestigious. Everyone assumes they are rich and successful so it is a good thing for the girl. (Also bi-racial babies are seen as being “born” smarter and better than just Chinese babies.)
My guy friends told me of one story in which a girl, so desperate to snag a foreign boyfriend called all the male foreign teachers one night. She called one guy first to hang out and when he said no, she called another. He also said no and she called the third. She didn’t know they were all hanging out with each other at the time!
There are also some girls who have snagged a foreign boyfriend but kind of use him to meet other foreign guys in hopes of getting a “better” one. I’ve seen that a few times and it’s pretty painful to watch.
And I don’t want to make all western guys out to be cads. Sure, I’ve known plenty of the predator type that just sleeps with as many Chinese girls as they can, but there are plenty of decent guys here too. I really like my male co-workers (they are not cads) but almost every single one of them (close to 30) has a Chinese girlfriend or wife.
Which just illustrates my point even more. Predators have their pick of woman night after night. And those not specifically looking will get hit on again and again, and even just normal nice guys end up with asian women, so what’s a western woman that wants to date a western guy to do? Several women I know have left china specifically because they couldn’t meet a man and wanted to settle down. (Or they should just date asians like I do, but that’s a whole ‘nother rant for another time.)
And if you guys really need some dating advice, or lessons from a pick-up artist, don’t support assholes like Julian Blanc. There are lots of good coaches out there including JT Tran and The Love Life of an Asian Guy who actually respect women (and multicultural relationship.)
Becky out. *drops mic*